Thank you, I think I needed to hear this today, I'm having a self doubt day (I have them often due to my mental health!) I will try and take some me time today and try and process things and hopefully feel better tomorrow. I might even have to keep reading this over and over!!! ❤️❤️❤️
I am so happy my words reached you when you needed them the most, Nicola. And I hear you, it must be tough to navigate days like this when self-doubt makes you question everything. It's inspiring to see you create space for your vulnerability. I hope you feel better soon. Sending good vibes your way. I’d love to know how things progress for you.
Self criticism keeps you stuck in a cycle of self repair...wow, that landed! It's an ongoing journey to let go of that critical voice isn't it? It didn't start with us and quietening it down takes time and repetition, but such necessary work.
Great piece! Have you encountered the book "Stolen Focus" by chance? It came to mind as I was reading. It added so much to my ongoing process of supporting myself to create space to think deeply and connect to my flow and creativity. Love your closing invitation to curiosity! 🙏🏼
Thank you so much, Shel! I haven’t read Stolen Focus, but it sounds like something I’d resonate with. Thank you for sharing. What’s one big lesson that stayed with you from the book?
Also, I admire how intentional you are about creating space for deep thinking and creativity. I'm really glad the invitation to curiosity spoke to you!
One of the biggest takeaways was how the business model determines design and makes your choices for you. Social media’s business model is designing to get people’s attention … the larger global business model is economic growth (which started in the 1880’s), so it’s being designed to go faster and get people to consume more. It makes me want to be aware of how I interact with the products and spaces I step into based on how they’re designed, and the business models (AND VALUES!) I want to have for my work and my life.
I needed this! As someone with Chronic Illness, I feel like I let people down so much. I have more cancelled plans on my calendar than met ones. I hate feeling like I can’t be depended upon. But this post reminded me that the only expectations I need to meet are my own.
I hear you and I appreciate you sharing this with me.
It’s hard not to feel guilty when we don’t meet the expectations others place on us. But I’m so glad this post reminded you that the only expectations that truly matter are your own.
Your worth isn’t defined by plans kept or cancelled—the most important commitment is always to your own well-being.
My granddaughter sent me a short video of a college professor teaching the concept of learning. She drew a diagram on the board showing the large space between 'not knowing' and 'knowing.' That space is called 'learning.' The professor also called it 'frustration.' We are all so hard on ourselves while we are 'learning,' but it does seem worth the frustration when we finally get to knowing.
The discomfort of not knowing is frustrating and you're right—we're often too hard on ourselves in uncertainty. But embracing that discomfort is the key to growth.
I often don’t speak up. I run to do chores to avoid being criticized by myself or others. I have a problem with communicating what I think and feel without getting anxious or upset which makes it difficult to express myself. If I am able to find a good person sounding board that will listen without judgement I can work through it and find the calm after my storm. That takes about 5-10 minutes.
Thus ~ I don’t have many people my life who can hold that space for me. I am finally ok with that.
This article has given me some insight and hope to keep going forward in understanding myself.
It must have been tough navigating your anxiety while struggling to express your genuine thoughts. I resonate with you—it’s hard to find people who can hold a safe space for us. What has helped me is creating that safety within myself, whether through journaling or reaching out to just one person who listens.
I truly hope you can be kind to yourself as you unlearn the habit of criticising yourself. I understand how heartbreaking it is to have that harsh inner voice constantly judging you. Wishing you more self-compassion and love as you create your way forward.
Your thoughts are so similar with mine. I can connect with those words - “not enough in meeting societal expectations”, “the voice that constantly turns into fix mode in order to fit in” & the cycle never stops. To come out of all this, The mind made false sense of SELF ( SELF - The conditioned false me influenced by time ) as explained by Eckhart Tolle has to DIE & this false self would die only when TIME is removed & the removal of time would happen only through PRESENCE, NOW, where the LIFE resides, rest all illusion.
A decade long journey to bring more presence into my life has been full of struggle, defeat & frustration but I am on & shall be till my last breath. Wish you all the best with everything you do in your life.
I resonate with the concept of the false sense of self, one that's been shaped by conditioning and trapped in stories of unworthiness. And yes, the only way out is to focus on the present and embrace who we are now. Thank you for sharing your experience with me. It must have been tough to navigate the struggles and frustration along the way. Your resolve to continue on this path despite the challenges is inspiring. Cheers to healing and growth!
Amen. This was such a great reminder that it is okay not be okay. Curiosity is much better than fear. I love that quote about perfectionism being self-abuse of the highest order. Thanks for sharing.
Thank you, I think I needed to hear this today, I'm having a self doubt day (I have them often due to my mental health!) I will try and take some me time today and try and process things and hopefully feel better tomorrow. I might even have to keep reading this over and over!!! ❤️❤️❤️
I am so happy my words reached you when you needed them the most, Nicola. And I hear you, it must be tough to navigate days like this when self-doubt makes you question everything. It's inspiring to see you create space for your vulnerability. I hope you feel better soon. Sending good vibes your way. I’d love to know how things progress for you.
Self criticism keeps you stuck in a cycle of self repair...wow, that landed! It's an ongoing journey to let go of that critical voice isn't it? It didn't start with us and quietening it down takes time and repetition, but such necessary work.
Absolutely! It's a journey to let go of limiting stories we keep telling ourselves. I'm so glad this post resonated with you.
Great piece! Have you encountered the book "Stolen Focus" by chance? It came to mind as I was reading. It added so much to my ongoing process of supporting myself to create space to think deeply and connect to my flow and creativity. Love your closing invitation to curiosity! 🙏🏼
Thank you so much, Shel! I haven’t read Stolen Focus, but it sounds like something I’d resonate with. Thank you for sharing. What’s one big lesson that stayed with you from the book?
Also, I admire how intentional you are about creating space for deep thinking and creativity. I'm really glad the invitation to curiosity spoke to you!
One of the biggest takeaways was how the business model determines design and makes your choices for you. Social media’s business model is designing to get people’s attention … the larger global business model is economic growth (which started in the 1880’s), so it’s being designed to go faster and get people to consume more. It makes me want to be aware of how I interact with the products and spaces I step into based on how they’re designed, and the business models (AND VALUES!) I want to have for my work and my life.
I needed this! As someone with Chronic Illness, I feel like I let people down so much. I have more cancelled plans on my calendar than met ones. I hate feeling like I can’t be depended upon. But this post reminded me that the only expectations I need to meet are my own.
I hear you and I appreciate you sharing this with me.
It’s hard not to feel guilty when we don’t meet the expectations others place on us. But I’m so glad this post reminded you that the only expectations that truly matter are your own.
Your worth isn’t defined by plans kept or cancelled—the most important commitment is always to your own well-being.
My granddaughter sent me a short video of a college professor teaching the concept of learning. She drew a diagram on the board showing the large space between 'not knowing' and 'knowing.' That space is called 'learning.' The professor also called it 'frustration.' We are all so hard on ourselves while we are 'learning,' but it does seem worth the frustration when we finally get to knowing.
That's a powerful way to look at it.
The discomfort of not knowing is frustrating and you're right—we're often too hard on ourselves in uncertainty. But embracing that discomfort is the key to growth.
Thank you for sharing this with me, Melinda.
It’s a common problem of most of the aspiring writers. Thank for paving the way.
Always. Happy it resonates. Wish you the best in your journey.
Awesome article. Thank you.
I am a bother, in the way and afraid.
I often don’t speak up. I run to do chores to avoid being criticized by myself or others. I have a problem with communicating what I think and feel without getting anxious or upset which makes it difficult to express myself. If I am able to find a good person sounding board that will listen without judgement I can work through it and find the calm after my storm. That takes about 5-10 minutes.
Thus ~ I don’t have many people my life who can hold that space for me. I am finally ok with that.
This article has given me some insight and hope to keep going forward in understanding myself.
Thank you for sharing this with me.
It must have been tough navigating your anxiety while struggling to express your genuine thoughts. I resonate with you—it’s hard to find people who can hold a safe space for us. What has helped me is creating that safety within myself, whether through journaling or reaching out to just one person who listens.
I truly hope you can be kind to yourself as you unlearn the habit of criticising yourself. I understand how heartbreaking it is to have that harsh inner voice constantly judging you. Wishing you more self-compassion and love as you create your way forward.
Your thoughts are so similar with mine. I can connect with those words - “not enough in meeting societal expectations”, “the voice that constantly turns into fix mode in order to fit in” & the cycle never stops. To come out of all this, The mind made false sense of SELF ( SELF - The conditioned false me influenced by time ) as explained by Eckhart Tolle has to DIE & this false self would die only when TIME is removed & the removal of time would happen only through PRESENCE, NOW, where the LIFE resides, rest all illusion.
A decade long journey to bring more presence into my life has been full of struggle, defeat & frustration but I am on & shall be till my last breath. Wish you all the best with everything you do in your life.
I resonate with the concept of the false sense of self, one that's been shaped by conditioning and trapped in stories of unworthiness. And yes, the only way out is to focus on the present and embrace who we are now. Thank you for sharing your experience with me. It must have been tough to navigate the struggles and frustration along the way. Your resolve to continue on this path despite the challenges is inspiring. Cheers to healing and growth!
Amen. This was such a great reminder that it is okay not be okay. Curiosity is much better than fear. I love that quote about perfectionism being self-abuse of the highest order. Thanks for sharing.
Happy this resonates with you. And yeah, that quote holds so much truth, isn't it?
YES indeed!
What do you mean fairies don’t exist?